Spirits In Peace Blog

You now understand the basics of writing a single etheree, whether it be a nature poem one on any other topic or theme. Many variations are possible, and in this lesson I will focus on this concept.

An etheree is commonly centered, but may also quite correctly be left or right aligned. It is interesting to note the difference this makes in appearance. Sometimes glitches in line length that are not apparent in one format will show up quite glaringly in another. I often try mine in different formats to make sure they are satisfactory.

Try the etheree you wrote for lesson one in these different alignments and see how it looks. The best of etherees look fine in any format.

Often etherees are left unpunctuated, and this is the easiest way to start. I also like to leave them without punctuation for the flow of thought that occurs without the pauses. But some etherees almost demand punctuation, and this is a bit of a skill. Here is an example of one that I chose to punctuate:

On The Edge

The
skater,
speeding on
rapid back edge,
reaches far with her
right leg and jabs in that
toe-pick with due precision,
taking care not to change to an
inside edge, perfect timing needed
lest she open in a huge miscued pop.

Note that punctuation can be used at mid-line as necessary.

One tip is to punctuate as you write. Do not write the poem and then attempt to insert the punctuation marks, as they affect line length by two spaces - one for the mark and another for the space that must follow it. Using a capital letter to begin a new sentence will also affect line length.

Here is an unpunctuated etheree, actually part of a pair, which I will later punctuate so you can see what happens:

Love And Knowledge

Know
what you
need to know
but book learning
cannot grant wisdom
so know what you read is
mere knowledge and no equal
to wisdom derived from gleaning
words scripted in the sacred book of
souls where light is written in divine code

Now let’s try inserting the grammatically correct punctuation:

Love And Knowledge

Know
what you
need to know,
but book learning
cannot grant wisdom.
So know what you read is
mere knowledge, and no equal
to wisdom derived from gleaning
words scripted in the sacred book of
souls, where light is written in divine code.

You can see the negative effect on the general configuration. Note that in line 6 the capital letter S occupies more space than did the lower case one in the original. Lines 7 and 8 are too close in length with the comma  and following space added to line 7, and the final line is also too long with the addition of the comma and space.

Never attempt to lengthen a line by hitting the space bar twice. The end result looks horrible, is an obvious cheat, and comes up on any spelling and grammar check.

Some of these fine details may seem trivial or picky, but the etheree is a precise and finely tuned form, and minute adjustments make all the difference between a mediocre piece and one perhaps worthy of publication.

The main challenge in writing a good etheree is to combine a clear and interesting message with an aesthetically pleasing form. Let’s say you want to write a straight-forward single etheree on the topic of, perhaps, sunsets, as nature poetry is a special favourite of mine. Start the first line with a one-syllable word, preferably a fairly short one, no longer than five letters for an attractive end result.

So let’s start as follows:

On

You will now need a two-syllable second line which should be only a few letters longer than the first. It might be one word or two. Let’s try something:

On

viewing

You will notice the difference in length between the two lines. Here’s where a thesaurus comes in handy. You want a slightly shorter synonym for viewing. One I often use is: http://thesaurus.reference.com/

 Let’s try this version:

On

noting

One letter can make all the difference in the appearance of an etheree!

And now you can see that the two lines are not disproportionate. You will now need a three-syllable second line, which might consist of one, two, or three words. One idea might be to think ahead of the colours of a sunset and begin introducing that concept in line 3: 

On

noting

bright colours

Again, bright colours looks too long. Let’s try this:

On

noting

sunsets in

You can see that this line works both in terms of syllabication and line length, and will allow us focus on colours in line 4. So now we will think of the colours of a sunset - orange, yellow, red, crimson, scarlet, vermilion, gold, coral, etc. and see which ones work best. Here’s a sample of a four syllable line added to the developing poem:

On

noting

sunsets in

yellow and red

You can see that yellow and red  is somewhat childish when you see it in print and is a tiny bit too long.  Let’s go with:

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

You can see that vivid orange is both a better length and more mature. In the fifth line, we will continue to describe the colours, using five syllables, so perhaps we could try yellow and crimson:

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

yellow and crimson

But, alas, once again that looks too long. Coral is a shorter word and would work, and strangely the word scarlet seems to take up slightly less line space on HTML than does crimson:

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

Yes, that looks better. Now, think of the effect seeing such a sunset might have on you as a writer, the material it might provide for poetry, and remember that you will need six syllables. Perhaps you might want to try the line:  poetic fantasy. Let’s see how it works.

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

poetic fantasy

Oops! That is too short, even though it has the required six syllables. You don’t want your etheree to resemble crooked teeth!  A slightly longer line might be: a poet’s ready pen.

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

Now imagine the colours flowing into your pen and providing poetry. A possible seventh line might be: scribbles in multi-coloured:

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in multicoloured

Yikes! That is a bit too long even if you are American and omit the u. A handy-dandy thesaurus might give variegated as a synonym, and it has the same number of syllables.

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

Better! Now we are ready to tackle an eight-syllable line, and remember we are getting near the end of the poem, so you have to wrap up your point. You will need to start the line with the word inks since you have set that up in line seven. Let’s try inks the writer’s awe evident

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks the writer’s awe evident 

Darn! Too long again. Let’s try a longer word for awe, and tighten the line up to read: inks fascination evident:

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks fascination evident

That’s just a hair too short. Apparent is slightly longer and means roughly the same, although as an English teacher I know the difference.

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks fascination apparent

That’s more attractive. Now, for our nine-syllable line, in which we must continue to wrap up our thoughts. Where is the fascination apparent?  In our poetry, of course! So let’s try: in poetry appearing as I

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks fascination apparent

in poetry appearing as I

This is a tad too short, and sometime we need to reframe our thought process slightly; since we have not used the first person thus far, it is best to avoid it at this late point. So let’s change the line to read in such verses as arise upon:

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks fascination apparent

in such verses as arise upon

Nice! Now, for the final line.  The verses arise, obviously, upon - guess what? Looking at the sunset, and we need ten syllables to convey that notion. Let’s try viewing this multicoloured scenery.

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks fascination apparent

in such verses as arise upon

viewing this multicoloured scenery

That is too long, so let’s try a synonym for viewing and a different adjective to describe the scenery. Maybe we might try something like beholding, which has three syllables and is not much longer than viewing, and amazing as our adjective, which will now need three syllables instead of the four of fascinating.

On

noting

sunsets in

vivid orange

scarlet and coral

a poet’s ready pen

scribbles in variegated

inks fascination apparent

in such verses as arise upon

beholding this amazing scenery

Eureka!

Copyright Carol Knepper 2008 -

Now, think of a topic and try one on your own, following the guidelines.

In these times of world-wide upheaval and tumult, it seems more important than ever that we direct our focus to humanitarian issues, that we keep the ideals of freedom and social justice first and foremost in our minds.

As governments change, the economy flounders, and war rages on in many parts of the world, I feel the need to reiterate my often-expressed notion that we cannot continue to divide humanity into winners and losers. To do so is to keep someone in a hurt, angry, and upset frame of mind, and how can we achieve peace when such is the case?

As long as people feel discounted, disenfranchised, and voiceless, there will be problems in the world, and we cannot solve them by fighting, by perpetuating more of the same win/lose mentality. We must listen, and that lost art needs to be rediscovered.

Our Aboriginal Peoples have long understood the art and technique of dialogue and communication, and much could be learned from their practices. They have never walked away from their meetings until everyone has been heard. The traditional practice of passing the Talking Stick provides each with his or her opportunity to speak.

My work often reflects this idea. There is no greater poetic inspiration than love for one’s fellow human beings.

We need to adopt a similar practice is governing bodies world-wide and in the United Nations. The G8 cannot continue to run its agenda and expect the rest of the world to fall in line; it just doesn’t work that way. We need to pass the Talking Stick, and in that process omit no nation.

How often do we need to be retaught the same lesson?